The World's Best Business Advice From Bathroom Graffiti Artists

(downloadable wallpaper – right click and pick “Save Picture As…”)

1. “Join the Air Force. Aim high!”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – This graffiti is found above many a urinal throughout the country. Piss stains abound. There is a big business lesson here. When you go for it, aim high. Worst case you don’t have enough oomph and you dirty up your pantaloons. Best case, you soak the ceiling.

2. “Is anal retentive hyphenated?”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – Oh. My. God! If you spend time micro managing like this you will never grow a business, let alone make it out of the shitter. Some things just aren’t worth a second of thought, go with your first reaction and move on. By the way, it isn’t hyphenated, at least that is my sub-one second of thought.

3. “Why do so many people shit with pens?”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – I have no idea why so many people are shitting with pens. But I sure as hell hope they are bringing a notepad. Don’t leave your good ideas behind. Instead, write them in your notebook (and then leave the really funny ones on the wall, too).

4. “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat!”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – It’s OK to mess up. It is just another part of being an entrepreneur. But don’t be a jackass and leave your messes behind for someone else to clean up. When you make a mistake, fix it yourself. You will be held in higher esteem by your colleagues. Plus, they won’t be worried about sticking to the toilet seat or something gross like that.

5. “No wonder I threw up… my stomach was full of puke.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – The entrepreneur’s version is “no wonder my business collapsed… I ran out of money.” It sounds like the obvious answer, but it is completely wrong. For your business to die, there must be a cause and the lack of money is merely a symptom. For you to puke, you had to cause it with a booze-fest or bad sushi or something. Your stomach didn’t cause the puke it was simply reacting to a different mess.

6. “No coat of paint can stop my pen. The bathroom poet strikes again.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – When you are passionate about what you do, nothing can stop you. Every form of resistance will be overcome by the entrepreneurs (and bathroom poets) who are passionate. And real entrepreneurial masters will invent “paint-over-resistant-graffiti-pens.” And yes, the hyphens are appropriate… stop being so damned anal retentive.

7. “Here I sit, broken-hearted… Came to shit, but only farted.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – Many times, what you plan for will not happen. An entrepreneur needs to be ready for the unexpected and then respond accordingly. But be careful, since “one day you might take a chance, try to fart but shit your pants.”

8. “Jesus Saves! Yeah, but Moses invests.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – Entrepreneurship 101 – make your dollars work for you. Shoot, you might save up enough to part the seas yourself.

9. “Looking for a good joke? It’s in your hand.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – A little bit of self deprecating humor goes a long way. An entrepreneur needs to be able to laugh at themselves. No seriously, laugh at yourself. Look at that thing in your hand. Ha! Ha! Ha!!!

10. “No matter how much you wiggle and dance, the last two drops always goes down your pants.”

The Entrepreneurial Lesson – Nobody is perfect, so don’t be worried about the mishaps. Instead of spending a load of time trying to fix the unfixable, let the small problems sort themselves (or air themselves) out… they will go away on their own, with barely a stain left behind.

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