You can tell a lot about a person by the way they take a dump. Some people run to the bathroom, check to see if there’s enough toilet paper, and when they don’t see it, the clench begins. They run around from bathroom to bathroom, desperately searching for toilet paper, hoping the worst won’t happen. Until it does. They’ve shit their shorts.
Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs handle things a whole lot differently. (And never crud their pants.)
TPEs Stock Up
The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur makes sure she always has toilet paper, no matter what. She’s got enough toilet paper to get her through the next Ice Age, so she never has to hold it or scramble for alternatives. (Though if she had to, she absolutely would.) She even has a roll hidden in the U-joint of the pipes, just in case other people drain her supply.
When life presents you with opportunities you’d better be prepared to act on them. You can wish for that proverbial knock on the door all you want, but if you’re not ready, you’re screwed.
This scenario is very often behind the stories you won’t see on Oprah, the coulda-shoulda-woulda stories mostly told in dive bars and support groups. Do you have enough TP to handle life’s little emergencies and opportunities? Are you prepared to act in order to meet your destiny?
TPEs Use Less
One way Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are able to stock so much TP is they live by a mandate of using less. I know. A totally alien concept in today’s western society, but just entertain the concept for a moment if you’re not already on board.
It’s pretty basic – when you use less, you have more left over, which means you don’t have to get more in order to have enough. Shocking, right? Look, you don’t need as much as you think you need. You can make amazing things happen with very little cash, no resources, no diploma, and even no friends. (That last one is a bit of a stretch – whom will you call for favors if you don’t have willing and able buds?)
Train yourself to use less, and keep it up even when you don’t really have to anymore. Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are prepared for anything, be it crisis or big break. They don’t have to say, “no” to opportunities or shut down in times of trouble, because they’re sitting on a stash of cash.
TPEs Just Do It Anyway
Regardless of the state of their TP supply, the Toilet Paper Entrepreneur never clenches. They go anyway. When the urge hits and for whatever reason there’s not enough toilet paper, they manage. Tissue, cotton balls, candy wrappers, WHATEVER is available is a fair substitute for TP.
When you clench up you stop the flow of possibilities. You miss your chance by holding back until you have enough of this or that. Are you ready to launch your business? Are you ready to take your business to the next level? Maybe yes and maybe no; it’s really just a matter of perception. In other words, it doesn’t matter. Don’t clench. Just do it.
Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are resourceful as hell. Though they are rarely caught without TP, they’re not going to let a little thing like no toilet paper stop them from taking that all-important dump. They just do it and then figure out how to deal. Sure, they might have a few skid marks, but at least they don’t shit their pants.
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