The Clench (or Just Do It!)
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they take a dump. Some people run to the bathroom, check to see if there’s enough toilet paper, and when they don’t see it, the clench begins. They run around from bathroom to bathroom, desperately searching for toilet paper, hoping the worst won’t happen. Until it does. They’ve shit their shorts.
Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs handle things a whole lot differently. (And never crud their pants.)
TPEs Stock Up
The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur makes sure she always has toilet paper, no matter what. She’s got enough toilet paper to get her through the next Ice Age, so she never has to hold it or scramble for alternatives. (Though if she had to, she absolutely would.) She even has a roll hidden in the U-joint of the pipes, just in case other people drain her supply.
When life presents you with opportunities you’d better be prepared to act on them. You can wish for that proverbial knock on the door all you want, but if you’re not ready, you’re screwed.
This scenario is very often behind the stories you won’t see on Oprah, the coulda-shoulda-woulda stories mostly told in dive bars and support groups. Do you have enough TP to handle life’s little emergencies and opportunities? Are you prepared to act in order to meet your destiny?
TPEs Use Less
One way Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are able to stock so much TP is they live by a mandate of using less. I know. A totally alien concept in today’s western society, but just entertain the concept for a moment if you’re not already on board.
It’s pretty basic – when you use less, you have more left over, which means you don’t have to get more in order to have enough. Shocking, right? Look, you don’t need as much as you think you need. You can make amazing things happen with very little cash, no resources, no diploma, and even no friends. (That last one is a bit of a stretch – whom will you call for favors if you don’t have willing and able buds?)
Train yourself to use less, and keep it up even when you don’t really have to anymore. Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are prepared for anything, be it crisis or big break. They don’t have to say, “no” to opportunities or shut down in times of trouble, because they’re sitting on a stash of cash.
TPEs Just Do It Anyway
Regardless of the state of their TP supply, the Toilet Paper Entrepreneur never clenches. They go anyway. When the urge hits and for whatever reason there’s not enough toilet paper, they manage. Tissue, cotton balls, candy wrappers, WHATEVER is available is a fair substitute for TP.
When you clench up you stop the flow of possibilities. You miss your chance by holding back until you have enough of this or that. Are you ready to launch your business? Are you ready to take your business to the next level? Maybe yes and maybe no; it’s really just a matter of perception. In other words, it doesn’t matter. Don’t clench. Just do it.
Toilet Paper Entrepreneurs are resourceful as hell. Though they are rarely caught without TP, they’re not going to let a little thing like no toilet paper stop them from taking that all-important dump. They just do it and then figure out how to deal. Sure, they might have a few skid marks, but at least they don’t shit their pants.
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September 22nd, 2008
It’s pretty basic – when you use less, you have more left over, which means you don’t have to get more in order to have enough.
Best line of the post, and so damn true!
September 22nd, 2008
Scott -
I wrote the damn article, and even I cringed a little at the opening sentence. Damn… I am getting old.
- Mike
September 22nd, 2008
Old?!!!
LOL…Based on your last vlog I didn’t see any gray hair…unless I am color blind?
September 22nd, 2008
This begs the question: “are you a folder or a buncher?” One can learn a lot about someone’s personality just by knowing this small detail about them.
September 22nd, 2008
@Corrie or…”Do you like TP on the top of the roll or hanging behind the roll?”
September 22nd, 2008
Man… this is great! I love the anologies: now if only I could figure out how to keep the brown skidmarks out of my underwear! (Hint: would love to see an article that makes an analogy to skidmarks)!!!
September 22nd, 2008
Scott…I do not know why this has stuck with me, but believe it or not, when I was a kid my mother taught me a few rules from an actual etiquette book. Most didn’t take but two I remembered. One, the knife blade faces the plate and two, the toilet paper is supposed to hang in front and not in back. It is actually bad etiquette to have it hang behind the roll…go figure, proper TP etiquette.
Mike – you hit the nail on the head between a run of the mill business person and an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs go for it, make mistakes, learn, correct and keep going. True entrepreneurs will only “clench” if they have the pot in sight…a sweeter deal inked and have to use a little restraint. Read…I said a “little.” Because I know it is hard for entrepreneurs to use any restraint because we go after what we want with great fervor.
Paul – Simple…don’t wear underwear!
September 23rd, 2008
Chase,
I love your comment. I was thinking to myself, “now that is really well thought out.” And I love the etiquette comments (thanks for telling me about the knife, I never knew that).
Then I got to your response to Paul. To keep the skids down, don’t wear underwear… YUCK. Doesn’t that just move the skids from the tighty whiteys to the trousers?
- Mike
September 23rd, 2008
OMG…All we can say is bleach and Costco! This was over the top!!! BTW…Posh is red-faced as she reads this.
L8R…Deko and Posh
September 23rd, 2008
Yes. I crossed the line to common deceny. I will be back on track shortly. Every so often I just lose it a little. I’m a good guy… I swear.
- Mike
September 23rd, 2008
Mike,
Thank you for the compliment.
I know this is way off subject…but Paul’s question was, “figure out how to keep the brown skidmarks out of my underwear!” So my answer was do not wear any. Now, if he wants to keep the skids from his pants too…cork, bran, and some depends.
Chase
September 24th, 2008
Vivid imagery and sterling points which just can’t be reiterated enough as the basic tenants you remind us of are really all it boils down to. Thanks for keeping it real and reminding us that amongst other things there’ll never a perfect time to get started so people should just do it!
-Ayanna
September 24th, 2008
Yeah, I wonder if I could make a business out of selling underwear that already have the skidmarks in them… you know how socks turn kind of yellow sometimes, and some company came out with the “gold toe” line of socks. What about calling it the “brown streak”? I could make it a stylish part of the design AND it would camoflague the actual brown stains…. what do you think???
September 24th, 2008
@Paul Talk about edgy! LOL Hilarious! Who would be your niche? LOL
September 24th, 2008
Niche??? Who needs a niche? I’m talking about the entire male half of the human race!!! (I am kidding about all this by the way: for those of you that know me, you might actually think I’m serious!)
September 24th, 2008
Underwear with pre made skid marks… I think there might be something there. I just question if that could be a multi-millionaire dollar business, but perhaps it could.
- Mike